...Riff Raff

Let me preface this post by explaining that...I have lived in apartments my entire life!
The only time in which I have not lived in an apartment was when I was very very young and living in New Mexico on an Indian Reservation. Our lawns were filled with rocks and dirt. Not grass.

Having said that, it will come as no great surprise to you that I have never operated a lawn mower. Ever.

When looking for houses to rent, one of our requirements was that it had a fenced in backyard.

So we could house this beast.

But houses are funny in that they always seem to come with front yards too. No matter how hard we looked, we could not find a single front yardless house.

Front yards mean you have to actually take care of it and, you know, mow it. Or else the City comes by and gives you this:

In short, it says "MOW YOUR DAMN LAWN OR WE WILL FINE YOU $250.00!!!"

Apparently, you are frowned upon if you let your lawn start looking like the Jungle Book.


I am sad to say that this is not the first time we have been reprimanded by the City either. You also can not leave the oak leaves that fell from your tree lying all over your yard either. NAZIS!!!

I'll have you know though, that upon moving in, we asked if the landlord was going to take care of the yard, which she was not inclined to do. So really.....we kinda warned her.

It's slightly amusing to be the Riff Raff of our street. It really drives our next door neighbor crazy and I'm not entirely convinced that that doesn't play a part in why we do it just a little.
But the real reason is that I shacked up with an extremely talented and brilliant... computer nerd. And not a lumberjack.
We don't know how the hell to take care of a lawn!!

..Ruin, The Destroyer

Let's play a game!
Can anyone guess what THIS, might be?


It's not a bug.
It's not a toy.
It's not a piece of trash. (Well...it didn't USE to be a piece of trash)
It USED to be Samn's glasses.
You know...those very important things he wears on his head to SEE!

I was cleaning up my desk just now and I came across these, laying there. Looking oh so sad and broken and it reminded me of when I first saw them...

I had just come home from work and stepping through the front door I immediately see Samn, in his boxers, with no glasses on, looking very much like he had just woken up.

He comes up to me, places something in my hand and says, "Look at what our dog did, baby."
Laying in my hand was what once were his glasses. Sans lenses. Those he had in the other hand.
"Our dog did this?"
"Not precious, innocent, adorable RUIN!"


"There's no way she did this. I mean, it's not like she ate the plaster off our window sill..."


"Or chewed through the bottom half of our blinds...."


"Or dug a giant hole in the backyard..."


"I'd like to see you try and prove that it was her..."


"Oh wait...are we talking about Ruin? The 100 pound Mastiff puppy that's always running around our house creating havoc?"
"Oh, well then, yes. I believe she could have eaten your flimsy glasses in one bite."
"Want me to take you to go get another pair?"....

I'm innocent!

...THAT Girl

I have become THAT Girl. You know, the girl that asks her significant other, "Do you even listen to anything I say?"
!!!!

Here's how it went down:
Samn and I were picking Ruin up from the vet (By the way, she did great! Everything went really well and she is back to being her crazy self today)
After we get her in the car (which was not easy because she crawled from the backseat to the drivers seat and then decided to have a drugged out zone attack and not budge)Samn starts dilly dallying with something...

ME: Baby, can it wait? I gotta go.
SAMN: I thought you just went to the bathroom?
ME: No, I mean, I have to get going. I have to go back to work.
SAMN: You have to go back to work at 5:30pm? Can't you just be off?
ME: (dumbfounded) No.....I have a meeting tonight. The one I've been telling you about for a week now? The one I've mentioned at least 5 times today?
SAMN: ....
ME: Do you even listen to anything I say?

...a Nervous Mommy

We dropped Ruin off at the Vet this morning. Bright and Early.
Very few tears were shed. I was pretty proud of myself. Samn and I have been nervous for her spay for weeks now.
I think I was on edge even in my sleep last night. Every move she made, woke me up. I think I was being quite irritating to her. At one point, I woke up and in my grogginess was positive that she was not breathing. I threw off the covers (and her in the act, as she was sleeping across my legs) startled her out of sleep, almost gave myself a heart attack and practically started to cry. I could just "see" the annoyed look on her face. "Excuse you! I was sleeping here!"

Yes, I AM that crazy lady. And I don't care. I love this "little" girl to pieces!!

I think what kills me about the whole thing (other than her being in a cage for hours, getting knocked out, and under going a semi dangerous operation) is that she is SO optimistic! She had NO idea.
She was so excited when we pulled into the Petsmart parking lot. We are still working on the "no pulling" at the pet store and dog park. She just cant help herself! She waited patiently at the front door for them to open it for her. She ran around to every person she could find, wagging her tail uncontrollably (jumping up on them. *Oh for shame* This embarrassing me to no end) giving them kisses, waiting for them to say hi and tell her how cute and how big she's gotten and then moving on to the next one.
She is a Rock Star at Petsmart. People recognize her that Samn and I are certain we've never seen before.
"Ruin! Oh, it's Ruin. Look hunny! Look how big she's gotten!"
We once had one of the nurses at Banfield bring a trainee into the room with her and say, "This is Ruin. This is the one we're always talking about"
And I BEAM!
That's my baby. My baby The Rock Star!
So spoiled. So happy. So clueless about what's happening today.


As soon as we got to the nurses station, she jumped on the scale and sat. She knows the routine. Scale+sitting= cookie
Only, no cookie today :(
Not for little girls who are going into surgery.
Oh, and she's 93 pounds. And 9 months old in 2 days.

And then we had to take her into...the BACK! Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn.
Excitement fades.
She's been betrayed!
Oh noes! Gotta get out of here!

How my heart broke. My sweet little girl. She was clawing and scratching and pulling and FREAKING out.
They used to take her back there to get skin scrapes back when she had Mange, and now she associates it with bad things. And she's not wrong!
We had to walk back there with her to calm her down and get her in the kennel, which she was having NONE of.
I was almost freaking out at much as she was.
I was this close to turning around and telling them, "I'm sorry, this isn't going to work" and taking her back home with me. I even thought about leaving Samn there to sit with her! For 8 hours......

The days when she could fit in my arms...comfortably

But....we eventually got her in. It took a lot of hugs and kisses and toys.
I am sitting here at work now, fighting the urge to call and check on her. In one hour I will give in and call.
For now, I will occupy myself with pictures of my adorable baby, and think about how we will never have to go through this again after today.

...a Community Association Manager

I passed! Wo-hoooooooo!

...a Studious Girl

I have been studying since 9am this morning! With only breaks for Lunch, Dinner and a little Law and Order.
I can hear your sympathetic "awwww's" from here.
You wont feel so sorry for me once I tell you that I have had 7 months, yes, count them folks, 7 months to study and only began last night.

I am QUEEN of procrastination!!!

And I'm paying for it now.

In my defense...ok, I have no defense. I should have begun earlier. *shame*

...a Dirty Lens

Oh Noes! Spots on my lens!
Time to get the camera cleaned I guess.
I could just tell people it was birds. Birds flying very close to the sun...